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The Dannon Company wins coveted Global Greenwashing Award

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Dannon yogurt executives are celebrating today after the company was named winner of the prestigious 2016 Global Greenwashing Award.  In a year with fierce competition, especially from Halloween candy companies, Dannon separated itself from the rest of the greenwashing pack with its groundbreaking Pledge on Sustainable Agriculture, Naturality and Transparency. According to International Greenwashing Awards honorary chair, HRH Prince of Wales, “Dannon has set the bar exceedingly high for future corporate greenwashers by not only resurrecting the word ‘naturality’, but by using a picture of an American farm at sunset on their pledge. Simply brilliant.”

According to a Dannon rep, “Marketing really knocked this one out of the park. Announcing that we’re dumping GMO ingredients before we’ve figured out how to replace them was truly out-of-the-box thinking. We might even have to import cow feed from China to keep that promise. [laughs]” The company is also basking in a greenwashed glow today after learning that switching to non-GMO sugar will mean degraded soil and a drastic increase in pesticide use. “That’s phenomenal. Greenwashing is part of our DNA now. You know, if you use words like ‘sustainable’ and ‘carbon-sequestration’ enough, you can greenwash just about anything.”

For a company still reeling from the fiasco of naming Greek yogurt after pig cheese, this award marks a promising new era in greenwashing innovation for Dannon. “We’re already thinking ahead to next year. Greenwashing cotton candy yogurt in plastic cups won’t be easy but clearly, we’ve got what it takes.”

  • Warren Lauzon

    Next they will come out with DNA-free lids for their containers.

  • Kevin Folta

    Nice. You can’t spell Dannon without D-N-A.

    • Adam La Vars

      You can’t spell ‘Non DNA’ without Dannon.

  • Josh B

    Their yogurt blows anyhow. I tried Chobani as a protest yogurt after Whole Fools GMOd them off the shelf, and got addicted. Especially the vanilla! When I mentioned this act on Facebook, I got called Dick Cheney. Rather odd, since I thought he preferred the blueberry.

  • relO627

    How horrible….listening to consumer demands.