Leaders of the anti-vaccine movement have radically redefined the meaning of the word “research,” rocking the scientific establishment. Formerly, scientists and doctors defined research as making new discoveries and publishing them in peer-reviewed medical journals. This model is outdated, suggests “vaccine expert” Dr. Cherry Fivenickel.
Instead, “research” now consists of boasting the massive number of hours one has spent reading the results of other people’s published articles. “I have done over 18,000 hours of research,” said Dr. Fivenickel, who lacks a single peer-reviewed publication on vaccines. Based on this “research” however, Dr. Fivenickel considers herself “respected as one of the country’s most knowledgeable and outspoken physicians regarding the impact of vaccines on health.”
Another leading “vaccine expert” Dr. Susie Mumphries told The Spudd that she too had done thousands of hours of research. “There is no more important journal than YouTube for vaccine researchers to publish our findings,” she said. “Traditional scientific journals are just not rigorous enough for us modern day vaccine researchers.”
“I suggest to all new vaccine researchers that they type ‘vaccines kill babies’ into Google and start to research for themselves how dangerous vaccines are,” Dr. Fivenickel said. “Once one has done over 10,000 hours of research, you have earned the right to open an online supplement store,” she told The Spudd.
