The world’s leading biotechnology companies held their annual “Thank God for Monsanto Day,” yesterday in Paris, France. The day celebrates the existence of Monsanto and the public’s general ignorance that these companies collectively dwarf the relatively small Monsanto. Monsanto, a seed company based in St. Louis, Missouri, is routinely demonized for mostly imagined crimes, ranging from aggressive patent enforcement to using their influence to buy off world governments to enact their plan of global depopulation through mass starvation and chemical castration via their herbicide Roundup.
“We don’t know how Monsanto and only Monsanto became the whipping boy for science-deniers,” said Syngenta, “but I go to bed every day and wake up every morning, thanking God for Monsanto. How many companies say that about their leading competitor? Folks think I make video games or something when I tell them my name- and that is just fine with me.”
“Most people think I only make Aspirin and a few other drugs,” said Bayer. “Once when some anti-GMO activists figured out what I was up to, I just kept saying ‘well, what about Monsanto?’ over and over again. That distracted them until they forgot about me. So, yeah, to back-up what Syngenta over there said- thank God for Monsanto.”
“Several recent natural disasters in my country have been blamed on Monsanto,” said the Japanese-based company, Sakata. “I don’t encourage that, but I don’t discourage it either, if you know what I mean.”
