Texas school blames “Immaculate infection” for chlamydia outbreak

Maverick School District officials met Friday to reaffirm the high school’s Bible-based sex education program.

Science, Vaccines, Med School, Satire

Officials at an abstinence-only high school in Texas point to“immaculate infection” as the reason for a chlamydia outbreak that involves scores of students.

District officials deny there is any reason to rethink their approach to sex education after 84 of Maverick High School’s 220 students tested positive for the sexually transmitted disease.

“If the blessed Virgin Mary conceived our Savior without the sinfulness of sex, then it’s hardly a stretch to believe that a gram negative sexually transmitted bacterium can find purchase in our Godly students in the same manner,” said Maverick principal Clyde Leghorn. “Beside, our kids don’t have sex.”

Maverick School District officials met Friday to reaffirm the high school’s Bible-based sex education program.

“We have an abstinence curriculum, and it’s nothing more than liberal claptrap to say it ain’t working,” said Maverick superintendent Bucephalus Brandstetter. “We need to do all we can to protect our students from their own nature.”