WASHINGTON, DC –
T
he Supreme Court has ruled by a unanimous 9-0 vote that idiots in America are no longer allowed to marry. The ruling comes after several children have had the unfortunate plight of being born to two idiots.
“We want at least one person in the relationship to be reasonable and somewhat smart. We can’t have two partners or two parents who both believe in something like vaccines causing autism, or chemtrails” said Chief Justice John Roberts. “We need to give these couples and their kids a fighting chance.”
Anti-vaccine cult members and 9/11 truthers the world over are fuming.
“This is ridiculous” said anti-vaccine leader Sherri Tenpenny. “If two of our members want to marry and have children, that is their right; in fact we encourage it. When science and reason start creeping into a marriage is when things like getting your kids vaccinated, using car seats, bringing them to medical doctors, all that stuff starts to happen. We can’t have that if we want to keep selling people books, dvd’s and supplements.”
Many in the science community are applauding the move, hoping it will have a positive effect on the nation’s future children.
“There is nothing more dangerous than when two science-denying people raise children,” said Big Pharma spokesman Dr. G. Ardasil. “This is when the child can be put in serious danger from not getting vaccinated, using homeopathy to cure anything and everything, and in extreme cases not bringing the child to the hospital when they have a broken arm.”
The new law is set to go into effect immediately.
