Fresh off the heals of his troubles with the law, Jared has found some new gainful employment. The former “Subway Guy” recently announced that he will be one of the front men for the anti-vaccine movement.
“We’ll take anyone, and I mean anyone” said Sheryl Dorey, anti-vaccine cult leader. “We don’t care what you’ve done or what you’re going to do, as long as you are anti-science and anti-vaccine there is always a place for you with us.”
Jared is reportedly very happy about the deal, thinking he would never again be employed.
“I’m beyond happy. I’ve been really busy reading all the suggested material from the anti-vaccine leaders, and I must say it was very eye-opening” said Jared. “It’s very surprising that all the mainstream literature from reputable sources all says the same thing: vaccines are safe and efficacious. It’s only when you dig a bit deeper and read the stuff the guy living in his mom’s basement is pumping out that you really get a sense of how dangerous this toxic sludge that is vaccines truly is.”
Jared will reportedly begin his duties very soon. Look for his image to be plastered across the anti-vaccine rags over the next few weeks.
