NEW YORK, NY – A new study released by Columbia School of Medicine showed than placebo 1 (pink sugar pill) performs better than placebo 2 (green sugar pill), and both performed better than homeopathy (white sugar pill) when used to treat the common cold.
“Well we are not surprised about the homeopathy results, but we were a little amazed at how much better pink placebos were than the green ones” explained lead researcher Dr. Otto Parker.
The randomized control trial involved over 600 patients who were divided into the three treatment groups. The study was almost halted before it was over, due to the very poor outcomes of the homeopathy group.
“We almost had to pull the plug.” explains Dr. Parker. “The homeopathy group was actually getting worse and worse by the day, but luckily the results came back up to the expected baseline, which was no measurable effect.”
Homeopathy salesman Dana Ullman claims the researchers must not have been doing it right, and pointed to several studies from the late 1800’s and early 1900’s showing homeopathy is effective.
