LOS ANGELES, CA – Fresh on the heels of his victory with SB277, Dr. Richard Pan is launching his next attack on personal freedom: SB278. This new bill will require all adults over the age of 21 to have at least one shot of Fireball Whiskey while out drinking in California. He is hoping this will get people in a better mood and forget about any controversy surrounding his last bill.
“Who doesn’t like having a good time? By mandating that adults have a shot while they are out, we are helping facilitate a happier population,” said Dr. Pan. “If adults do not wish to have a shot, they are welcome to home drink.”
Adults will still be able to get a medical exemption from the shot, but religious and personal belief exemptions will not be allowed.
“This is a violation of my rights! I hate whiskey, especially Fireball Whiskey” said Jade Helm, mom of two. “I want to follow my own alternative schedule, too many shots too soon can really ruin your night.”
Unconfirmed reports indicate that Dr. Richard Pan may have been drunk (possibly on Fireball Whiskey) when he drafted the bill.
More to come…
