ATLANTA, GA – Rubella, also know as German Measles, has officially been eliminated in the Americas and it is not happy about it.
“I would have thought with all the crunchy, privileged parents opting out of my vaccine that I would be OK” explained Rubella. “But it turns out I was wrong. I really hope I can rely on the anti-vaxxers to help me come back.”
A long and grueling 15-year campaign has stopped the spread of endemic rubella in the countries of the Americas, the Pan-American Health Organization announced this week. However, if the anti-vaxxers and Rubella have their way, this won’t last for very long.
“This is an outrage” said Dr. Suzanne Humphries, anti-vaccine advocate. “It is our right and the right of our children to get Rubella. This Big Pharma campaign against this beloved pathogen is reminiscent of Nazi Germany.”
Rubella has reached out to the likes of Natural News, Whale.to and other anti-vaccine, pro-disease websites in order to aid in it’s return. The anti-vaccine cult has vowed to do whatever it takes to help Rubella come back and infect their children, you know, to get natural immunity.
