LOS ANGELES, CA – In a cruel twist of fate, former funnyman and c-list celebrity Rob Schneider has received this year’s annual flu shot. Schneider is known mostly for his time on Saturday Night Live and the Deuce Bigelow movie franchise, but has recently made his way back into the news as a “celebrity” who is against vaccines.
While Schneider has no training or knowledge of science, immunology or biology (apart from what he learned in his movie The Animal) he still feels he can speak on the subject as if he were an expert.
So you can imagine his surprise when he found out he had received his annual flu shot last week. Apparently Schneider thought he was auditioning for a role in a medical drama, but it turns out he was just at a regular hospital. He assumed his character was going to get a vaccine and then turn into some kind of monster, because, you know, mercury and such. Sadly for Schneider, all that happened was he got his flu shot and then went home with a slightly sore arm and lower chance of getting the flu this year.
Schneider is reportedly thinking of suing the hospital. Even though he agreed to get the shot, he feels he was misled that this was a placebo vaccine just for the movie role.
“I’m not sure where he got that idea,” said Dr. Fred Fraser. “We are a normal acute care hospital with a walk-in clinic attached. He simply walked in, signed a form and got his flu shot. We are located relatively close to Hollywood and the studios, so perhaps he thought it was all a movie set.”
Schneider is also reportedly going to fabricate a horrible adverse reaction and enter it in the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS).