Quantum Homeomagnetic Immunoreflexology

“I wasn’t even aware that I had a quantum homeomagnetic field. Now, after only 16 treatment sessions, I am totally in touch with it.”

science, health, satire, vaccines.

Sedona, Arizona

The audience sat in awe, then stood and cheered as Celeste Belknap presented a study conducted using Quantum Homemagnetic Immunoreflexology (QHMIR), a healing method of her own creation.  The venue was the Annual Mind-Body Symposium, an event for Alternative Healers to share innovative new therapies.

The Naturopathic Doctor explained: “The results were miraculous. Client after client reported a greater awareness of their quantum homeomagnetic field and each felt a marked boosting of their immune system.”  One happy client shared his experience: “This therapy was life-altering. I wasn’t even aware that I had a quantum homeomagnetic field.  Now, after only 16 treatment sessions, I am totally in touch with it.”

Ms Belknap explained the origin of this revolutionary new therapy.  “My Pomeranian puppy, Dhammapada, chewed up the program to last year’s Mind-Body Symposium.  Dhammapada is a very old soul and I guess the Universe spoke to me through him.  I saw the scraps sitting there on my Indian rug.  At first it just seemed like a bunch random of syllables, but there they were: “quantum,” “homeo…,” “magnetic,” “immuno…,” “reflexology.”

Belknap has received a $300,000 grant from the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health to study how QHMIR works.  Tickets to her instructional course at next year’s Mind-Body Symposium are already sold-out.

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