NEW YORK, NY – The head of one of the biggest pharmaceutical companies in the world was caught on tape last week talking about the children of America and how “all your children are belong to us.” A spokesperson for Pfizer said the quote was taken out of context and certainly does mean that Pfizer believes it owns everyone’s children.
“Mr. Read misspoke when he made that comment and it has been taken out of context. Pfizer is committed to the health and well-being of all of its clients, especially children.”
Anti-medicine and anti-pharma advocates are livid at the leaked recording, calling for Mr. Read’s immediate termination from the company.
“This just proves what we have been saying all along: big pharma is out to kill and control us all, especially our children” said anti-vaccine and 9/11 truther Willy DeMoss. “The fact that the Chief Executive Officer of one of the biggest pharma companies in the world thinks that our children belong to his company is really scary. Almost as scary as aluminum in vaccines, or The Ring.”
Anti-vaccine and anti-pharma cult members are expected to use this quote very liberally, similar to the Bill Gates quote where they claim he said he wanted to use vaccines to kill billions of people as a means of population control (of course what he actually meant was that communities with better health care and higher living standards tend to have fewer children).
It is unclear at this point whether this mishap will have any repercussions for the company, other than to add more fuel to the anti-vaccine fire (which is natural, so not harmful).
