LOS ANGELES, CA – The anti-vaccine, conspiracy theory themed park, False Flags, was forced to delay its June 1st opening due to a severe staff shortage.
“Over 40% of our staff called in sick,” explained park co-creator, Justin Canew. “We mandate that all employees of the park be unvaccinated, which some people are claiming is the reason they are so sick all the time – but we know that’s just a coincidence.”
The Science Post was able to speak to several of the employees who had illnesses ranging from the common cold to measles.
“I was just diagnosed by my naturopath as having measles,” said one employee. “But I’m on a high dose of vitamins and herbs so I expect I will be back at work running the Tilt-A-Whirl in no time. I mean, I paid over $500 for this cure so it has to work.”
The park will have several anti-vaccine, anti-GMO and chemtrail themed rides and welcomes all families – vaccinated or not….with a catch.
“The park is geared towards parents and people who share our view on things like vaccines and chemtrails, but anyone is welcome,” explained Canew. “However if you or your child are vaccinated, you will have to stay in a segregated part of the park; that’s for safety reasons. We don’t want vaccinated children shedding toxins on all the rides.”
The park expects to make most of its money through food and drink sales as they will be selling exclusively non-GMO, organic, and all natural products.
“You can take your little one on the “It’s a Smallpox World” or “Mr. Toad’s Wild Polio” rides and then head on over and enjoy a $7 bottle of natural coconut water and a lovely $12 bag of kale chips. Everybody wins” claims Canew.
No date has been set for the new opening.
