LOUISVILLE, KY – Local anti-vaccine and pro-disease advocate “Tanners Dad” revealed that he only needs 359 more studies on vaccine safety to consider that vaccines may in fact be safe.
“I have seen 1641 studies that show vaccines are safe and effective. Every single one of them is part of a global conspiracy, that much is obvious” he explained. “But I think if I can get to 2000 studies showing vaccines are safe, I may be willing to change my mind. I MAY be.”
Anti-vaccine advocates are convinced that any and all studies showing vaccine safety are fraudulent and all funded by Big Pharma under the auspices of the Illuminati or something.
“I have done so much research on vaccines that I refer to myself as a scientist, sometimes even a doctor,” explained Tanners Dad, Tim. “Actually, that is a bit of an insult. I know more than doctors and scientists. I should actually have my own title,” he laughed. “I have made it my life’s mission to convince as many people as possible that the Big Pharma conspiracy to poison children via vaccines is real. Maybe, just maybe, I will reconsider if I hit that 2000 study mark.”
Unfortunately, even though anti-vaccers demand more and more studies on vaccines, they get angry when children are used as “guinea pigs” for vaccine studies….
“They are testing these poisons on our children!” said one anti-vaccer.
“They never test these poisons before they bring them to market!” said another.
Science literate pro-vaccine advocates are skeptical that reaching the 2000 study mark will change Tanners dad’s mind.