Agriculture giant Monsanto announced today that they have developed a new genetically modified corn which will protect consumers against the harms of chemtrails. Chemtrails are a completely accepted and factual concept involving the spraying of mind-control and autism causing chemicals from the back of airplanes. This new breed of corn could prevent any of that from happening.
“We are very proud of our newest lab creation,” said Monsanto CEO Judas Luciferr. “We can now protect all of our valuable customers from the very real threat of chemical spraying.”
Some are skeptical of the announcement saying it is just a ploy to get more people to buy their corn, especially the chemtrail truthers.
“I really don’t know what to make of this to be honest,” said John McClane, die-hard anti-GMO advocate. “On the one hand you have a GMO, which cannot possibly be safe, but on the other hand it apparently can protect me from the hazards of chemtrails. I’m really torn on this one.”
The new corn will apparently be ready as early as next season, depending on how fast the lab can clone the seeds. Monsanto does have some concerns however.
“We are worried that some farmers, mainly in India, may get their hands on these seeds. If that happens, we will of course have them murdered,” said a defiant Luciferr.
