New CDC guidelines: Only get vaccinated against diseases you have personally seen

science, health, satire, vaccines.

ATLANTA, GA – The US Centers for Diseases Control and Prevention (CDC) released their 2016 vaccine guidelines which include some major changes.

The new guidelines suggest that parents and the general public only get vaccines for diseases they have personally seen before.

“We know from internet commenters and YouTube videos that if you have never seen someone with measles, tetanus or polio, then there is no need to get vaccinated for it,” said Dr. Gerry Randall of the CDC. “It’s the same principal that is recommended with seatbelts: if you’ve never been in a car accident, then there is no need to wear one.”

Seatbelts are not recommended unless you have been in a car accident previously.

While pharma shills will argue that it is because of vaccines that we no longer see these diseases, the non-sheeple know it is because of better sanitation.

“The pro-vaccers love to tell you vaccines brought measles and polio under control, but they are full of it,” said former celebrity Jessica Biel. “Better sanitation brought polio under control in the 1950’s and then again with measles in the 60’s. Just because it happened at the exact same time the vaccines were being introduced doesn’t mean anything. Sanitation can kick in at different times. I’ve done my research.”

Biel is not alone in her beliefs concerning vaccines either; several other non-qualified celebrities and mommy bloggers share her views.

“If a celebrity tells me not to vaccinate, that’s good enough for me” said 5% of Americans.

Doctors and scientists expect polio, measles, mumps and diphtheria cases to climb drastically once the new guidelines take effect, since that it was they have been brainwashed to believe in their industry-funded medical “schools.”

The new guidelines can be found on the CDC website.


Evil doktor, pharma shill, vaccine chemist, Monsanto spokesperson, GMO lobbyist, chemtrail deployer and false flag organizer.