More and more gluten switching to human-free diet, report shows

science, health, satire, vaccines.

LOS ANGELES, CA – A new report suggests that more and more glutens are switching to a lifestyle which is human-free. In the past, gluten has only avoided those with celiac disease, but the trend is to now go completely human-free.

“This is just a trend, just another fad like the time we all tried to grow beards,” said Gluten. “I still stay away from people with celiac disease, that’s just gross, but there is no need to go completely human-free.”

The researchers found a 35% increase in the number of glutens who are now completely human-free, compared to only 5 years ago.

“We are seeing a huge rise in the trend of going human-free,” said one researcher. “Although we know over 90% of glutens can handle humans, the “cool” thing to do now is to go completely human-free.”

One positive thing to come out of the latest human-free trend is that there is now more choice for glutens who actually have an allergy to humans, and there are a seemingly endless supply of humans who not enjoying gluten.


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