The most evil company in the world, Monsanto, is about to get even more vile as they officially released a statement confirming they will be merging with Hell. The deal will include a record 4.5 billion souls to be delivered to Hell in exchange for the devil’s blessing of GMO foods.
“We have always been an inherently evil corporation right from our very inception” said Monsanto CFO John Milton. “To officially ally ourselves with the underworld is a very necessary and important step.”
Monsanto will continue to receive all the help the dark lord can provide from his fiery prison, while Monsanto will guarantee delivery of 4.5 billion souls over the next 20 years. The deal will be made official at 7:06 EST time June 6, 2016.
Monsanto is hopeful the deal can further aid in their quest for domination of the world’s food supply, the continued ownership of governments across the globe, and increase the side effects caused by GMOs which require people to use Big Pharma to get better.
“This deal is very far reaching, and our friends in Big Pharma will certainly benefit from it as well,” explained Milton. “They have promised to continue donating money to government officials who support vaccines, pharmaceuticals and GMOs.”
