The agricultural giant, Monsanto, has just announced they are matching Netflix’s new parental leave policy, effective immediately. However, in order to qualify for the leave employees must sign a long and confusing waiver form. The Spudd was able to obtain a copy of the form and a few of the highlights are below:
“Employee’s children and children thereof, must agree to work full or in part, for Monsanto Inc. for a minimum of 10 years once gaining the age of majority.”
“Employees on parental leave must agree to post at least 3 internet comments per day about the greatness and safety of GMO foods; failure to do so will result in termination of said parental leave contract.”
“The soul of the unborn child must be promised to the current CEO of Monsanto Inc.”
“The child of the parent(s) must be fed GMO formula for the duration of the parental leave contract.”
“Daily monitoring of all parental leave employees will be conducted via Monsanto’s partners in various world governments through the use of unmanned drones and unauthorized wiretaps.”
Employees of the company are overjoyed, stating the small annoyances outlined in the waiver form are something they are all forced to do anyways.
