SAN DIEGO, CA – Local holistic nutritionist and mom Shelly Godspell performed a full splenectomy on her 12 year-old son Matthew over the weekend. Reports indicated Matthew is now in critical condition and needs immediate medical attention. Mrs. Godspell is currently scouring YouTube and Wikipedia to find out what to do.
“I know I did everything right as far as the surgery goes” said Mrs. Godspell. “The only thing I can think of is maybe some kind of infection. But even that would be really strange since I loaded Matthew up on prophylactic colloidal silver and several homeopathic antibiotics.”
Friends and family are imploring the family to get Matthews to a hospital as soon as possible, and when that didn’t happen they contacted Child Protective Services.
“If CPS gets involved, it will be another case of medical kidnapping” said anti-vaccine and anti-children advocate Gary Mull. “If parents want to use faith healing and supplements to cure their son’s cancer, or perform at-home invasive surgeries, that is their right as parents. The amount of children being medically kidnapped in this country is getting out of control. This isn’t Nazi Germany.”
At press time, Matthew was still clinging to life in his mom’s make-shift basement OR and a CPS kidnapping is considered imminent.
