AUSTIN, TX – In a move that caught all his friends and family off-guard, Mike Adams aka the Health Ranger blurted out at a dinner party that genetics were the most likely cause of his friends cancer.
“We were all shocked” said close friend John Stone. “We assumed he would blame something else like he always does, so we were all pretty taken aback.”
In conversation with The Spudd, Adams confirmed that he was indeed mistaken and blames the mishap on jet-lag and too many kale shots.
“It was something I said that I deeply regret. I wish I could go back and explain to everyone that it was just a momentary lapse in judgment brought on by exhaustion” explained Adams. “I reached out to my friend and assured him that it was indeed either vaccines, GMOs or glyphosate that was the real cause of his cancer. The real cause of all cancers actually.”
When pressed by The Spudd to elaborate on his claims with science, Adams insisted it was us who should “do our research” and directed us to his website. Adams also reiterated to us that he knows what he is talking about because of his above-average intelligence, as documented in his biography:
“Adams scored in the 99.9th percentile across all U.S. students. He aced the English, Mathematics and Science sections of college entrance exams, scoring 100% on 3 out of 4 sections earning numerous offers of scholarships from various universities, including the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (which he chose not to attend).”
We should all take a minute and thank whatever God you believe in that we have brave souls like the Health Ranger to help us in this ongoing struggle. And also sell supplements.
