TIJUANA, MEXICO – Mexican government officials announced today that construction of the pared de la ciencia or science wall, will begin immediately along the border between southern California in the US and Baja California (a northern Mexican state).
“We do not want a bunch of disease carrying, anti-science Luddites pouring into our great country,” said Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto. “Our childhood immunization rates are upwards of 95%, much better than those wealthy, smug Californians.”
Several anti-vaccine advocates have vowed to the leave the stats after bill SB277 comes into effect this September. The bill requires students to be vaccinated before attending public schools, unless they have a medical exemption. Many anti-vaccine zealots completely lost their shit and argued that the requirement for children to be protected from deadly diseases was akin to the Nazi’s murder of millions of innocent people. After that, they promptly sent death threats to the bills authors.
But, in perhaps the most shocking alliance since the 1987 joining of superpowers Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage, both anti-vaccine and pro-vaccine advocates are encouraging anti-vaccers to leave the country.
“While I wouldn’t wish a plague of anti-vaccers on any nation, I have to be a bit selfish here and just hope they leave mine,” said Bruce Sullivan, science literate. “We’re actually hoping to start a Kickstarter campaign to help with the costs of relocation for the families, you know, because we care.”
Update: Reports indicate Donald Trump is filing a lawsuit against Mexico for stealing his giant wall idea, which he says he patented “in my head”.
