Merck debuts new HPV vaccine, “revealing” line of teen fashion

Drug giant Merck & Co. Inc. has announced an updated version of its Gardasil vaccine that protects against an additional five strains of the HPV virus, while simultaneously rolling out a stunning new collection of teen fashions that will have heads turning.

The new vaccine, which received FDA approval last week, may prevent 90 percent of cervical, vulvar, vaginal and anal cancers. The teen clothing line, which will be appear under the “G Type” label, celebrates “the inherent sensuality of youth”, according to head designer Pia Lascivo.

The FDA has approved “Gardasil 9” for females ages 9 through 26, and males ages 9 through 15, for the prevention of HPV types 6.11, 16, 18, 31, 33, 45, 52 and 58. “This is a groundbreaking development in the fight against a disease that has killed and maimed millions of women,” said lead researcher Dr. Karen DeVries of Marquette University.

Unfortunately, fashion writers have been less than celebratory.

While Teen Vogue calls Merck’s swirl patterned sun dress and hip hugging jeans “fun and flirty”, Kaitlin Débaucher of Fashion Dawg decries the couture as “corporate dreck for the convent bound.” Paris Haute Jeunesse laments that Merck is spreading “banal cancer” thoughout the teen fashion world.

Meanwhile, industry insiders say GlaxoSmithKline is eyeing a branded line of wine coolers and lip gloss to accompany its update to the popular Cervarix vaccine.

 

Evil doktor, pharma shill, vaccine chemist, Monsanto spokesperson, GMO lobbyist, chemtrail deployer and false flag organizer.