NEW YORK, NY – In a breaking story which happened behind closed doors over the weekend, executives from Merck Pharmaceuticals and Monsanto Company apparently met to discuss the idea of a major merger.
Merck is one of the largest pharmaceutical companies in the world and therefor one of the leading causers of autism. Monsanto is one of the world leaders in GMO foods and therefor one of the leading causers of cancer. It would only make sense for them to talk merger.
“Yes we had a long talk about the possibility of merging companies in order to streamline the causing of both autism and cancer” said one insider who asked not to be named. “If we can team up and combine resources, we could really ramp up the amount of autism and cancer we are causing.”
The merge would be one of the biggest in history worth an estimated $200 billion by some experts.
“If these two giants actually merged they would create one of the biggest, most influential companies in the world,” said business insider Brian Gravis. “The amount of autism and cancer they could cause would be mind-blowing.”
Stay tuned for further updates.