BOSTON, MA – Steven Richards, a 4th year medical student at Harvard University was disappointed to learn that he was not taught how to be a Pharma Shill during medical school. It is a long-standing belief among anti-vaccine and anti-science cult members that all doctors are part of a global conspiracy headed by Big Pharma. So you can imagine his disappointment when Richards, 23, was not shown how to push pills in medical school.
“I went through 4 years of medical school and not once were we taught about shilling for Pharmaceutical companies” laments Richards. “All they taught us was stuff like biology, chemistry and anatomy. It was very disappointing.”
Richards has accepted a residency in the Emergency Department at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, MA and is hoping maybe they will be able to show him how to be a puppet for “Big Pharma”.
“I have a few more years left of training, so hopefully the good people at Mass Gen will show me the ropes when it comes to needlessly pushing pills and collecting my Pharma Shill checks.”
However, Richards is not getting his hopes up, “it seems everyone I’ve talked to and learned from in medical school is all about science and saving lives and not about being a pill pusher and collecting huge checks. It’s really sad.”
Some of the anti-vaccine cult members are actually not surprised, “you think he is actually going to admit that they taught him to be a Pharma Shill?” laughs Sharyl Wakefeld, noted anti-vaccination advocate. “They’re all part of it. Every medical school, every doctor, basically anyone who doesn’t believe what we believe is clearly a shill for pharmaceutical companies.”
In the meantime, Richards plans on posting comments in vaccine related news stories on the internet and will settle for just being called a “Pharma Shill”.
