NEW YORK, NY – Area woman Janet Hutton, 53, finally awoke from a nearly 20 year coma to the delight and celebration of both doctors and family.
Unfortunately, soon after she woke up, he was given a laptop to catch up on the worlds news. He did not like what he saw.
“You mean to tell me that people think vaccines cause autism, Donald Trump is our next president, and we’ve made amazing advances in food technology but people are against it?” asked a bewildered Hutton. “No thank you. I’d rather be asleep quite frankly.”
Normally, doctors are not allowed to place a patient in a medically-induced coma via request, only when it is medically necessary. However, given the circumstances of 2016 they have made an exception.
“We feel that it will benefit Ms. Hutton’s mental health to be placed back into a coma and not have to deal with the events of 2016,” said neurologist Dr. Grant Jenson. “To be honest, I can’t really blame her and I sort of envy her.”
Many people are counting down the days until 2016 comes to a close with many feeling it was the worst year of their lives.
“2017 can’t come soon enough,” said one person we interviewed. “2016 was a terrible, terrible year. Fingers crossed that 2017 is somehow a little better.”
People are anxiously awaiting Trump’s first few months as president to see what happens, including the science community. Trump has called global warming a hoax and tweeted that he believed vaccines can cause autism.
Reports also indicated that many hospitals across the United States have been swamped with requests for medical induced comas for the next 4 years.
