Move over Food Babe and David “Avocado” Wolfe, there is a new player in the detox game: the human kidney and liver. That’s right, our bodies very own organs are the best detox method that has ever been invented.
“I have been around for a long, long time and I’m doing just fine with the whole detox thing” said kidneys. “Yah there is really no point in wasting your money on useless detox scams. Just send all your crap to us and we’ll take care of it” added livers.
Detox products and plans are a 4.8 billion dollar a year industry (we estimate) so it is no wonder that so many alternative health practitioners are getting in on it.
“It’s so easy. Just make a website, plaster some inspirational style memes on Facebook to attract visitors, and then hit them with your detox products. Done and done” said an anonymous employee of a detox website. “We laugh all the time at how many people buy this stuff. Half the time we just fill it with flavored water or Tic Tacs.”
Livers and kidneys plan to continue their method of not charging you anything for all the detoxing they do.