science, health, satire, vaccines.

Holistic nutritionist still waiting for money transfer from Nigerian Prince

in Alt Med by

Holistic Nutritionist Holly Vickers was overjoyed when out of the thousands of people who use the internet, she was chosen to receive a handsome sum of money from a Nigerian prince.

“You never expect something like this, you never expect things like this to happen to you,” said an enthusiastic Vickers. “It’s like winning the lottery.”

After sending the prince all her personal and financial information along with a $300 processing fee (a small price to pay for the millions of dollars in return), Vickers is still waiting for her wire transfer to come through.

“I’m not going to lie, I’m getting a little nervous,” said Vickers. “It’s been over a month now and I’m having trouble getting in contact with his excellency.”

Vickers said she plans to use the money to open up her own detox clinic and possibly go back to university to get an actual degree.

“I’m confident things will work out. I mean, everyone knows the only people who lie on the internet are Big Pharma and Kevin Folta” said a hopeful Vickers.