Vani Hari, aka the Food Babe, is reportedly gravely ill. A spokesperson for the pseudoscientific blogger confirmed to The Spudd that “Yes, Vani is in poor health right now. She is recovering in her GMO-free mansion from malnutrition.”
It turns out that the list Ms. Hari has created of foods that are “toxic” and “should not be consumed by anyone” has grown so long that she is unable to eat enough calories to remain healthy. The Food Babe has systematically eliminated almost all major food and drink companies from her safe to consume list and is getting to the point where she will soon be unable to eat anything without contradicting something she has warned her readers about on her blog.
Her family and friends are trying to convince her to at least drink some water, but she has recently learned that water is also sometimes referred to as “dihydrogen monoxide” and has sworn that off as “toxic” now as well.
Starbucks has reached out to Ms. Hari and confirmed it will be sending her a get well basket consisting of molasses cookies and pumpkin spiced lattes.
