RALEIGH, NC – Vani Hari, aka The Food Babe, has just completed a two-week long chemical-free diet she says is the healthiest thing anyone can do for their body. Unfortunately, Vani did not understand the basic science behind chemistry, and specifically the chemical make-up of food and drinks. As it turns out, everything is a chemical. Even water.
“I stand by what I did, and I stand by what I said before, that no amount of chemicals in our food are safe” said a defiant Hari. “But I must concede that perhaps I went a little overboard this time.”
Well Vani is keeping what (if anything) she consumed during her diet a secret, she came out on the other end of it pretty worse for wear (above is an artists depiction of what The Spudd staff believe she may look like now).
“This diet is completely insane and not recommended at all, obviously” said dietitian Stacy Fielder, RD. “Every food and every drink has a chemical in it, otherwise it would be nothing. So I imagine Ms. Hari simply ate nothing for two weeks straight. I am surprised she is still alive to be honest.”
Ms. Hari plans on getting back to the basics when her health is more stable.
“I’m going to go back to what made me successful: naming long, harmless chemicals in food, tell everyone they are toxic, and then sell detox products through my website. It’s what any good babe would do.”
