LOS ANGELES, CA – Energy healer Blaze Lightning is a California naturopath and licensed energy healer. He has recently been making quite the splash in the news after curing at least 15 people of cancer.
“I am very in tune with the spirit world” said Lightning. “I harness that power, that energy, and transfer it into my patients.”
For just $199, patients come for a 45 minute consultation and 15 minute treatment session. At the end of the hour, they are cancer free.
“I have a 100% cure rate right now” brags Lightning. “When someone with cancer gets the tumor surgically removed and does a few rounds of chemo, that’s when I step in.”
Testimonials are pouring in from all over the state and people are traveling from all over the world to see Lightning and his mystic healing powers.
“It’s really an amazing out of body experience” said Holly Smith, 43. “I was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago, and after a mastectomy and three rounds of chemo, I came to see Blaze. I am now completely cancer free. He is an amazing man.”
As expected, the fat cats at the CDC and FDA are investigating Mr. Lightning’s claims.
