NEWARK, NJ – Gary Neville, a computer analyst at a local firm in Newark, is being avoided at all costs by his colleagues at work.
“Gary is crazy,” said one coworker. “He goes on about being anti-vaccine and even tries to get diseases to build up natural immunity. We’re pretty sure he tried to get bubonic plague this past spring.”
Gary often goes on long rants in the break room about the ‘gubmint’, vaccines, GMOs, chemtrails and pretty much anything that involves some kind of conspiracy.
“It’s not my fault that my coworkers are all ignorant to what’s really going on,” explained Gary. “I have more natural immunity than anyone I know. Sure, I miss weeks or months of work at a time, but no vaccines for this guy; hence, I don’t have autism.”
*Update: Gary has died from the bubonic plague, only the 5th death in the past year in the US. This is also the first reported case of a person getting the plague on purpose.