A local law firm is reporting that their employees have been dropping weight and feeling stronger for the past month. Emerson, Lake & Palmer, a personal injury law firm, noticed the change in their employees physical appearance and increased productivity almost immediately.
Office manager Bernice O’Leary said the “secret” is really quite simple. “We just all started walking a new route to avoid Janet” said O’Leary. Janet has been with the firm for just over 4 months and has already made quite the name for herself.
“If you get too close to her she will just start going off about vaccines, chemtrails, the government this and that, it’s terrible” said coworker Todd Killorn. “She will even show you pictures of her “vaccine-damaged” children; which is weird because human resources said she doesn’t have any kids.”
With the way the office building is set up, in order to avoid coming into Janet’s anti-vaccine talking zone the employees had to walk an average of 2.2 extra miles a day.
“It’s incredible. We all manage to avoid Janet plus we are getting in shape. Kind of ironic that an anti-vaccer is making people healthier” laughed Killorn.
