WASHINGTON, DC – Billionaire Betsy DaVos, home-school and anti-science expert, will be the Education Secretary tapped with leading America’s education into the future. One small hiccup for some is that she is not very fond of education.
“I believe home schooling and religious schooling is the best choice for children, especially children of billionaires,” explained DaVos. “I am so sick of only facts being taught to our youth, that is why I am pushing for the theory of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to also be taught along side the falsehood that is evolution.”
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is widely regarded as an outdated and easily debunked theory, although several followers still bow down to his noodly appendage.
“This is ridiculous,” said primary school teacher Mark MacDonald. “I mean what’s next? Teaching kids about creationism and so-called intelligent design?”
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is very active in supporting their members and believe that Pastafarian acceptance is something that needs to be encouraged to all children.
“We live in a world where now more than ever, we need to come together,” said one member. “The courage Ms. DaVos is showing in going against traditional education is very hopeful. Ramen.”
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was founded in 2005 with the core tenet being very similar to that of creationism in both scope and evidence: that an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe.