Cheerios recalled after being tainted with gluten, no one with "gluten intolerance" notices

science, health, satire, vaccines.

General Mills announced today that they are recalling over 1.8 million boxes of Cheerios and Honey-Nut Cheerios which were labeled gluten-free but actually contain wheat. Over 7000 boxes of the cereal had already been sold, but so far only people with confirmed Celiac Disease have reported any issues.

“We have no reported cases of people who are self-diagnosed with “gluten intolerance” as having any issues,” said General Mills CEO, Sam Barley. “As far as we know the only individuals who have been affected are those with Celiac Disease.”

As soon as word got out about the recall however, thousands of people came forward claiming to have been rendered sick by the costly error.

“As soon as I found out I had purchased one of the infected boxes, I immediately began to feel sick,” said nutritionist Skye Peltier. “Fortunately I was able to gather enough strength to make it to my homeopath’s office.”

General Mills Inc. said it will take the cereals out of warehouses and off store shelves immediately.

 

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