In the wake(field?) of a supposed CDC whistleblower blowing the lid off a vaccine/autism link among African American children, more whistleblowers are coming forward. Speaking under the promise of anonymity several CDC employees have come forward to confess other cover-ups to The Spudd.
“I feel so ashamed” says Julie S. (Wait. That might give her identity away. We’ll call her J. Sinclair). “I have to admit it now, get it off my chest. I took someone else’s lunch from the CDC fridge” confesses Sinclair. “I feel terrible that I omitted that significant event from my co-workers.”
And the whistleblowing didn’t stop there. Steve B. also came forward to The Spudd admitting he had parked in a CDC lot which he did not have a permit for. “It’s just so much closer” explains Steve. “It was raining and I didn’t want to have to walk all the way from Lot 6. I figured I would get a least 340% wetter if I had to walk that far.”
These revelations are sure to send shockwaves through the anti-vaccine and conspiracy theory cult members all over the interwebs.
Stay tuned for updates as a statement from the CDC is expected soon.
-The Spudd
