ATLANTA, GA – The CDC announced today that they would be implementing a new decision scheme to decide which variants/strains of influenza to include in this years vaccine.
“As we all know the flu vaccine is just a big guessing game anyways” said Dr. Randi James of the CDC. “So this year we have a cool new dartboard with all the different flus on it. We’re going to let our contest winner throw darts at it to decide which strains to include in this years vaccine.”
The contest opens this week and the winner will be selected by random draw later next month. The CDC is hoping this will get the public more involved in their flu vaccine campaign.
“Every year the public complains about the flu vaccine, complains that it isn’t 100% effective” said James. “So this year we are getting them involved, getting them excited about it.”
The giant dartboard is currently being built in a secret underground CDC bunker, usually reserved for de-population planning sessions.