Company grants annoying anti-vaccine employee 5 year maternity leave to keep her away

Company grants annoying anti-vaccine employee 5 year maternity leave to keep her away

CHICAGO, IL – A local computer software company, Pineapple Xpress, granted Victoria Langdon a record-setting 5 year maternity leave. Langdon is a low-level script writer for the company and apparently is quite unpopular with her coworkers. “She is a very big distraction to her coworkers and annoyance to her superiors” said company CEO Seth Hill. […]

Monsanto matches Netflix, announces 1 year parental leave plan for employees

Monsanto matches Netflix, announces 1 year parental leave plan for employees

The agricultural giant, Monsanto, has just announced they are matching Netflix’s new parental leave policy, effective immediately. However, in order to qualify for the leave employees must sign a long and confusing waiver form. The Spudd was able to obtain a copy of the form and a few of the highlights are below: “Employee’s children […]

Anti-vaccine parents charged after using all-natural homemade car seat

Anti-vaccine parents charged after using all-natural homemade car seat

Local parents John and Nancy DeMoss were arrested and charged with child endangerment over the weekend after using a homemade, all-natural carseat for their infant son. The seat consisted of a bed of dried kale and hemp straps. The couple is defending their use of a natural carseat, claiming the government is in league with […]

Employees in best shape of their lives since taking longer route to avoid anti-vaccine coworker

Employees in best shape of their lives since taking longer route to avoid anti-vaccine coworker

A local law firm is reporting that their employees have been dropping weight and feeling stronger for the past month. Emerson, Lake & Palmer, a personal injury law firm, noticed the change in their employees physical appearance and increased productivity almost immediately. Office manager Bernice O’Leary said the “secret” is really quite simple. “We just […]

Doctor wows colleagues and patients by being only two hours behind schedule

Doctor wows colleagues and patients by being only two hours behind schedule

Patients and colleagues alike were coming from all over the hospital to the ambulatory clinic of Dr David Dillon to witness a miracle. Dr. Dillon was operating with blazing speed and efficiency and by mid afternoon was only 2 hours behind schedule. “We’ve never seen anything like this” said hospital administrator Marsha Molland. “We are […]

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