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Genealogy study proves all pharma reps are direct descendants of Satan

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NEW YORK, NY – Columbia University researchers have made a startling discovery when looking at the genealogy of pharmaceutical reps. “We wanted to see if there were any common links among them, since they all seem to act pretty much the same way,” said Dr.…

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New vaccine bill will force children to be vaccinated at gun point (probably)

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LOS ANGELES, CA – State Senator Richard Pan, a pediatrician, has proposed legislation that does away with the personal belief exemption from vaccination requirements for schools. Bill SB 277, dubbed “the holocaust bill” by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., will force all children to be vaccinated…

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Food Babe secretly taking Intro to Science course at local community college

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CHARLOTTE, NC – A student at a local community college noticed something strange about the new girl in the back of his Introduction to Science class. “She looked really familiar” said Rob Gallard. “She had weird glasses, a mustache, and kept answering all the questions…

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Organic food industry hoping to starve population by 2021

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MACDONALD FARM – A new video put out by the 65 billion dollar organic food industry is stirring up some controversy. In the video, the good people who support organic farming use children and “Old Macdonald” to illustrate their point: organic is good, non-organic is…

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Jake Crosby gets lost in labyrinth, saved by Seth Mnookin

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Jake Crosby, aka “The Kid”, was recently reported missing after he ventured out into a labyrinth on his parents property in Northern Connecticut. Jake is well-known among the anti-vaccine community for coming up with distant and wild ties between anyone who is pro-vaccine and the…

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away?

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Apples have been promoted by doctors for centuries as a health boosting food. However, apples are known to contain cyanide. Cyanide itself is a poison that kills by denying blood the ability to carry oxygen and thereby causes its victims to die of asphyxiation. So…

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