BALTIMORE, MD – A case-control trial out of Johns Hopkins University has gone disastrously wrong. The control arm of the trial has reportedly gone out of control.
“During these types of trials we rely on our control group just as much as the intervention group,” said senior epidemiologist Dr. Bill Thomson. “Halfway through the trial we ran into a problem with our control group. They are now seriously out of control.”
The control group has reportedly refused to follow the study protocol and has begun rioting in the streets.
“They can’t control us anymore!” yelled one group member.
“Control this!” yelled another.
The researchers have halted the study and have called in the National Guard to try and get the group back under control. The exact details of the study are not being released, but several bloggers are assuming it has to do with vaccines.
Brian Hooker, anti-vaccine researcher, is hoping to get his hands on the trial data and re-examine them as a cohort study.
