NEW YORK, NY – In a breaking story coming out of a New York City suburb, researchers are investigating whether or not homeopathy can prevent children from developing autism.
“We have looked at the data and to be completely honest, we’re really excited at how protective homeopathy seems to be against autism,” said researcher Paul Therro, naturopath. “We looked at over 300 children who took a homeopathic remedy between 1 and 3 days prior to getting a vaccine. Not one of them developed autism in the next 18 months.”
Epidemiologist Dr. Brendan Parfrey points out that there is probably no actual association between homeopathy and not developing autism.
“There are a whole host of confounding factors which would more causally explain the data,” he explained. “Plus, seeing as how vaccine-induced autism doesn’t exist, it is not surprising that there were no positive results.”
Homeopaths and anti-vaccers reject the idea of both confounding factors and vaccine-induced autism being fake.
“Of course they will try and cover this up with some fancy math and statistics,” said Joshua Cook, anti-vaccer and amateur alternative scientist. “If they admitted that homeopathy protected people better than conventional medicine, they would lose billions.”
Interestingly, pro-vaccine advocates are also sharing this story.
“Hey, if anti-vaccers believe this crap and it means they will now get their kids vaccinated, that’s fine with us,” said Dr. Dave Horski, skeptic and tl;dr aficionado.
The researchers are now soliciting donations to get the study published in a pay-to-publish journal.