JEFFERSON CITY, MO – A 48 year-old woman has apparently fallen down while wearing a balancing bracelet she purchased at an alternative medicine store. Michelle Dorey recently purchased her bracelet from a local alternative holistic medical clinic with the promise it would both correct her chi and render her virtually fall proof.
“To be perfectly honest, we’re really at a loss here. We can’t explain it” said Dr. Michael Nill, an emergency physician with over 13 years’ experience. “It just makes no sense. No sense at all. I mean, she was wearing the bracelet.”
Researchers from several universities have contacted Mrs. Dorey to try and gather more information on this improbable turn of events; many are hoping to secure funding to begin clinical trials on balancing bracelets.
“If we can get the funding and do a large study on these bracelets, it may change everything we know about chi, the inner ear, and the very nature of human physiology,” said Dr. Richard Rahl of Princeton University. “We have always just assumed that these balancing bracelets are fool-proof. Perhaps it’s time we test this theory more rigorously.”
