In a breaking story, The Spudd has learned that NASA is planning to implement space chemtrails as early as next month. Hackers broke into the NASA mainframe and discovered the plans for the operation codenamed Heart of Gold.
Officials were quick to deny the rumored plans: “NASA has no plans to experiment with chemtrails in space,” said engineer Dr. Arthur Prefect. “We are more than happy with our current chemtrail program. Shit. Scratch that.”
Conspiracy theorists are seemingly excited and terrified at the same time.
“Everyone laughed at us when we warned you about chemtrails, well who’s laughing now?” said anti-science conspiracy theorist William Penny. “Now they want to start spraying us from space? These people are sick, evil people.”
While the details of how exactly the chemtrails would filter down through the atmosphere to earth was not revealed, self-described scientist and chemtrail expert Billy DeMoss explained it to The Spudd:
“The chemtrails would be made of heavy, ionized elements capable of surviving entry through our atmosphere. Somewhat similar to what they already do with conventional chemtrails.”
According to research done by The Spudd, that makes no fucking sense.