science, health, satire, vaccines.

Breaking: ISIS agrees to stop terrorism after enough people finally change their profile picture on Facebook

in News by

RAQQA, SYRIA – The most feared terrorist group in the world announced they will be ceasing all terrorist activity beginning immediately.

“There is nothing we can do,” said one of the groups leaders in a recent video. “We always knew that if enough people changed their Facebook photo to a Stop ISIS picture, we were done.”

The world is celebrating the unexpected yet great news and are hoping for similar success in other campaigns as well.

“We hope we will soon be able to wipe out gun violence, rape, homophobia, you name it!” said Jennifer Murphy, Facebook activist. “All we need to do is get enough people to change their profile picture and we can change the world.”

Many Facebook activists said they knew this day would come and are happy it is finally here:

“I knew that if we got enough likes, shares and profile pictures of rainbows that something like this would happen. I really think this is the start of something great; all of the world’s problems should go away pretty soon.” – Mark Hanifin, Facebook trend follower.

Many people are skeptical however, but cannot deny the impact this is having:

“I’m shocked to be honest. I thought donating time, money and really getting involved in a cause were the real ways to make social change,” said Frank Wilson, Professor of Sociology at the University of Chicago. “I guess I was wrong. Time to change my Facebook profile pic to something I care about I guess.”

Stay tuned for updates as we are sure more and more global concerns will soon cease to exist.