In a breaking story exclusive to The Spudd, we have learned that Mark Sasperger will be stepping down as CEO of Pfizer Pharmaceuticals effective immediately. The reason behind the shocking move is the latest in a long line of scandals involving vaccines and autism. Reportedly, the board members have had enough with the lack of autism being caused by the vaccines.
“We elected Sasperger as CEO with the promise of raising the autism rate through vaccines. He has not delivered on that promise,” said an anonymous board member.
Pfizer, along with other Big Pharma companies, has been willfully causing autism in children through routine childhood vaccinations. Apparently, Merck and GSK grew tied of carrying the lion’s share of responsibility.
“Pfizer has really let us down,” said an executive at Merck. “All the autism is being caused by our vaccines, they are really not pulling their weight.”
Pfizer is expected to make the announcement public early tomorrow.
