Breaking: Big Pharma to stop making vaccines; anti-vaccers and diseases everywhere rejoice

Breaking: Big Pharma to stop making vaccines; anti-vaccers and diseases everywhere rejoice

NEW YORK, NY – In a breaking story you won’t read anywhere else because we made it up, Big Pharma is immediately stopping all production of vaccines. They have decided to focus more on profits and their shareholders and therefor will discontinue the practice of preventing illness.

“At the end of the day, we are a business” said one executive. “We lose money every year by preventing measles, diphtheria, polio, you name it. We are hoping these diseases make a roaring comeback and we can be rich beyond our wildest dreams.”

Doctors and scientists are outraged at the news.

“We rely on vaccines to stop the spread of many horrible diseases,” said Dr. Frank Gerrard, pediatrician. “This is going to lead to thousands if not millions of children getting horribly ill and dying.”

On the contrary, both anti-vaccers and vaccine preventable diseases are reveling in the news.

 

Kate-Tietje-150x150

 

“Finally. Now moms all over the world can let their children get any disease they want, as well as letting them stay home with a broken arm.”

-Modern Alternative Mama

 

Date: ?? Courtesy of C. S. Goldsmith; William Bellini, Ph.D. This thin-section transmission electron micrograph (TEM) revealed the ultrastructural appearance of a single virus particle, or “virion”, of measles virus. The measles virus is a paramyxovirus, genus Morbillivirus. It is 100-200 nm in diameter, with a core of single-stranded RNA, and is closely related to the rinderpest and canine distemper viruses. Two membrane envelope proteins are important in pathogenesis. They are the F (fusion) protein, which is responsible for fusion of virus and host cell membranes, viral penetration, and hemolysis, and the H (hemagglutinin) protein, which is responsible for adsorption of virus to cells.There is only one antigenic type of measles virus. Although studies have documented changes in the H glycoprotein, these changes do not appear to be epidemiologically important (i.e., no change in vaccine efficacy has been observed). Prior to 1963, almost everyone got measles; it was an expected life event. Each year in the U.S. there were approximately 3 to 4 million cases and an average of 450 deaths, with epidemic cycles every 2 to 3 years. More than half the population had measles by the time they were 6 years old, and 90 % had the disease by the time they were 15. This indicates that many more cases were occurring than were being reported. However, after the vaccine became available, the number of measles cases dropped by 98 % and the epidemic cycles drastically diminished.Measles virus is rapidly inactivated by heat, light, acidic pH, ether, and trypsin. It has a short survival time (<2 hours) in the air, or on objects and surfaces.

 

“This is one of the happiest days of my life!!”

-Measles

 

jkanew

 

“This is great news. I really joined the anti-vaccine cult at the right time!”

-Justin Kaneww

 

mheimer

 

“Jesus, Jesus, God, measles.”

-Megan Heimar.

 

polio

“I’m paralyzed with joy!!”

-Polio

 

  • Nick Jenkins

    About time they make a decision that makes sense!

    • Jennifer Bailey

      yup, vaccines only made them cents