LOUISVILLE, KY – In a shocking twist to a tragic story, anti-vaccinationists are not blaming the head injury of 8 year-old Dwight Lanes directly on vaccines. Dwight was accidentally struck in the head with a baseball bat during Little League practice on March 8th and remains in a coma. Doctors say his prognosis is grim.
Representatives from the organization VacTruthiness released a statement today expressing surprise at their inability to link Dwight’s injury to vaccines. “We had our best Googlers spend several months researching this case. We learned a decent amount about the dangers of the rabies vaccine for people bitten by bats. But we must say this is a first for us- Even if Dwight had been unvaccinated, his head still would not have withstood the impact of that baseball bat.”
Representatives from VacTruthiness contacted us to report that vaccines are still to blame for Dwight’s injury however. “The child who struck Dwight, Lou Green, was also vaccinated. We are certain that if Lou had never been vaccinated, his coordination and awareness of his surroundings would have been keen enough to avoid swinging a bat near Dwight’s head. So vaccines are to blame after all, of course.”