LOS ANGELES, CA – Forget Tinder, Plenty of Fish or even eHarmony. The newest craze and the latest hip spot to meet single, eligible anti-vaccers is your local botox clinic.
“We have a huge clientèle of anti-vaccine botox addicts,” explained Shelly Winters, owner of Frozen Faces Botox Clinic in west Los Angeles. “We have seen a huge increase the number of single bachelors and bachelorettes availing of our services. We have already made quite a few matches!”
While it may seem all warm on fuzzy on the outside, there is a darker side to looking for love at a botox clinic: measles.
Botox clinics are also becoming one of the fastest growing places for vaccine preventable diseases to spread, as several of the customers bring their unvaccinated children with them to the clinic.
“We have seen a marked increases in the number of cases of measles, varicella and mumps originating from these clinics,” said pro-vaccine and paid pharma shill, Dr. Henry Burris. “We encourage everyone to vaccinate of course, but if you are going to put your children at risk by not vaccinating, at least leave them at home when going to get your face injected with one of the deadliest pathogens known to man.”
So if you are single, anti-vaccine, and don’t mind getting botulinum toxin injected into your face, head to the nearest Botox clinic where you may find love, measles, mumps or maybe even all three.