NEW HAVEN, CT – An executive with the pharmaceutical giant GSK recently proposed the company create a vaccine which doesn’t cause autism; he was immediately laughed out of the room and let go from his position.
“I really thought he was joking,” said one executive. “I actually spit out some of my children’s tears I was drinking at the time.”
The executive in question has reportedly been having problems with his conscience, unable to sleep at night do to the untold horrors he has helped inflict on the world.
“I can’t sleep at night, I can’t eat, I am consumed by what I have done,” he explained. “All I did was say “hey, maybe we can make just one vaccine that is safe?” I was laughed at and promptly fired.”
He is apparently considering suing the company but then remembered that the entire judicial system is controlled by Big Pharma and the Illuminati.
He is now shifting his attention to creating a safer chemtrail formulation.