NEW HAVEN, CT – Merck Pharmaceuticals has announced the release of a new and improved DTaP and MMR vaccine which they hope to make available by the new year.
“This is just one more in a long line of revenue killing vaccines that we have come up with,” said Merck CEO, Stan Hershal. “Every kid that gets a vaccine is another kid we most likely won’t be making a profit from treating their vaccine preventable disease. That’s why we love those anti-vaccers,” he laughed. “Don’t print that.”
Some estimates have pharmaceutical companies making upwards of $10,000 treating one patient with measles and even more if the patient has complications, whereas they make only a few dollars off the vaccine.
However, according to anti-vaccine cult members, Big Pharma makes all of their money from vaccines…
“Big Pharma make billions if not trillions of dollars a year from vaccines! And the gubmint makes us get them!” said Joel Gooding. “The worst part is they can’t be sued either! Well, except for that court where you can sue them.”
When shown evidence in the form of tax and revenue reports that pharma companies, in fact, make little money from vaccines Mr. Gooding responded with: “Pffft, you trust that? Where did you get that information about their profits and revenue? Let me guess, the IRS aka THE GUBMINT!”
The new revenue-losing-life-saving vaccines should be available by December.